Thursday, August 23, 2007...2:43 pm
In Which I Break Down and Write About Crocs
I think it’s become abundantly clear that the entire city of New York hates Crocs. They cast them off as an ugly trend in footwear reserved for bandwagon-jumping local yokels from flyover states. They insist that they have no useful purpose - especially not in New York.
I, too, was among those who detested Crocs. I saw no need for brightly-colored decorative plastic footwear with holes.
Then, one day earlier this month, I got a pair of Crocs.
(Note that I did not buy a pair of Crocs. They were given to me as a gift from a sales rep at work. I was actually slightly offended by the gift. I was embarassed just to carry them home.)
One night later that week, just to entertain myself, I finally put them on. I was incredibly disappointed - disappointed in how comfortable they were. I didn’t want to take them off. It was like little plastic gnomes were massaging my feet with every step.
On vacation in New Hampshire, I wore my Crocs every single day. I basked in the comfort of their soft plastic soles. I let my feet feel the breeze through their ventilated holes. I even wore them to a bar. Nobody scoffed at them. Nobody pointed out my unsightly footwear. Nobody said a word about my Crocs. You see, everyone in New Hampshire understands that while Crocs are not particularly attractive, they are functional.
Seriously, New Yorkers. What the hell is your deal? Why you gotta hate on Crocs? I would think that New Yorkers would be ones to understand that things can be ugly, yet functional. Hell, this entire city is “ugly, yet functional.” Just look at our subway system: ugly, yet functional. Look at the Queensboro Bridge: ugly, yet functional. Look at the Meatpacking District: ugly, yet… actually, that’s a bad example. The Meatpacking District is completely dysfunctional.
You will never see me walking through Union Square in Crocs. I will not be the scorn of swarms of you overly-fashion-forward New Yorkers. But I will pity you, because you just don’t know what you’re missing.
17 Comments
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 2:58 pm
When I moved to Boulder 20 months ago I couldn’t believe people wore those atrocious things. Then, around 10 months ago I found myself in a pair of them. I must say, nothing feels better on my feet than a pair of Crocs. I don’t wear them to work on any regular occasion or to have a big night on the town. However, when I’m going out to run a quick errand, go grocery shopping or to just bum around they are always on my feet.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 3:49 pm
would think that New Yorkers would be ones to understand that things can be ugly, yet functional. Hell, this entire city is “ugly, yet functional.” But you will never see me walking through Union Square in Crocs.
Preach it!
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 3:55 pm
damn.
does this mean i will have to suck it up and actually try on those lurid pink things my cousin bought for me last christmas that have been taking up space in the closet.
i had, until this point, absolutely refused.
i thought they were adorable on my 4 year old nieces feet and that was that.
but now…. now you say they’re ok.
and you don’t like much.
you sorta like em…
my life is now upside down.
thanks a lot.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I think this means that you have officially jumped the shark.
I can’t stand those things. I went to a doctor’s office once and one of the doctors was wearing those stupid things. The receptionist asked me if I had a preference on who I saw. I told her anyone but the guy in the Crocs.
Crocs make the baby Jeebus cry.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 4:46 pm
As someone who lives in a “Flyover” state… I must… say…
oh fuck it. I’m never defending Kansas.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Never even heard of these before. Don’t think I’d ever buy a pair, but I’ll give you that they’re not as awful looking as Uggs.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Yeah, Crocs were born between Boulder and Longmont… they were popular in 2003 and wow did I get some stares when I wore them in Chicago. Of course, not that I wore them in the city.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Alert to the ladies: they make cute ones:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/19483827/c/27671.html
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 11:32 pm
I’ll take crocs over flip flops any damn day - women who don’t take care of their feet parading ingrown toenails, callused heels, hairy toes, ugh, I want to hurl every time I see ‘em. Flip flops are alternately called “shower shoes” and that’s the only place for ‘em. And those mesh plastic slipper things with the fake flowers? Your feet are .5 mm from the sidewalk upon which you’re treading. That’s gross. At least crocs a.) hide gross toes b.) elevate your foot more than a quarter of an inch from the ground.
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 12:30 am
Crocs is functional, but they’re working on the “ugly”. Check these out: http://www.shoesonashoestring.com/ads/You%20By%20Crocs/You%20by%20Crocs.htm?gclid=COHEn7GmjY4CFSasGgoduj2cEw
And they have some really nice new one’s out, one that’s not the ugly Clog Thingy, called Alice:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2942161?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_pla=shoes:women:flats&cm_ite=crocs(tm)_’alice’_slip-on_(women):195644&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:trackingCode=10F3A58E-0050-DC11-8E88-001422107090&mr:referralID=NA
and one that’s perfect for winter called Mammoth
http://www.journeys.com/catalog_detail.aspx?id=62827
You can keep the dirt brown Clog thing, leave it in Denmark, but I’ll get the coxy Mammoth and the Sleek Alice soon :)
these are hot too: http://www.surfanddirt.com/nofear/dept.asp?s_id=1&dept_id=6330
and
http://www.surfanddirt.com/nofear/dept.asp?s_id=1&dept_id=6327
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 9:22 am
I just can’t believe it. As a Texas girl, I still can’t stand these things…are you kidding me?!
No one scoffed or pointed because they were just talking about you behind your back and joking with their girlfriends when they left the bar…you just may have not noticed.
Oh Chris, I don’t know you and forgive me if this is harsh but you need to step up your game.
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 10:28 am
TinyURL is a very good thing sometimes…
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 1:50 pm
faggot
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I think these are the ugliest things ever, yet I am strangely intrigued because of how comfortable people say they are.
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 5:45 pm
I need to try these, bet we could bring em back in style.
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 10:22 pm
As a result of this post I spent the entire day shopping with my friends trying to convince them that these were ok to buy. They flat out refused, even to the “cute” ones. I may have to stop lurking around your blog.
Leave a Reply