Editor’s note: Sorry, I’ve been a little under the weather lately. But my friend Lauren, a former resident of East Greenwich, sent me this, and I had to pass it along
Definitions of “East Greenwich”, according to Urban Dictionary:
Small town in Rhode Island filled with skinny rich kid drug dealers that don’t carry guns, and girls that like to shop & tan. We want our townies to go back to Cranston, and we beat Barrington’s test scores every time.
Small, wealthy, suburban town in central Rhode Island. Home to many alcoholic trophy housewives and sheltered, spoiled brats. A town where BMWs outnumber brain cells, and the number of black residents can be counted on one hand.
Small town in RI where you can’t go anywhere without knowing someone. Parents are afraid to let their kids go to Providence because there are too many “stabbings and gun shootings” there. In EGHS, no one talks to someone their not friends with, no one says hello to an only an aquantaince. The cheapest house to buy is 400,000 and its not even new. Teens here are so wealthy that they pretend theyre not by getting high and drunk every night-and their parents give them the money to do so. Barrington thinks theyre EG, but EG has the A+ test scores.
And last, but certainly not least:
A fucked up town that ruined my life and makes me want to kill myself.
[Used in a sentence:] Betsy killed herself because she lived in East Greenwich.