1. Always obey the posted speed limit. In order to properly obey the speed limit, you must travel at least 10 MPH under the speed limit. If the speed limit is 30, go 20. If the speed limit is 40, go 30. If the speed limit is 55, go 30.
2. When coming to a four-way stop, insist that everyone else at the stop sign go before you do. Even if they got to the intersection 15 seconds after you did.
3. You must always turn a corner at no more than 5 MPH. Turning any corner faster than that will make your car fall apart.
4. Red means stop. Yellow means yield. Green means slam on your brakes in the middle of the intersection.
5. Yield to pedestrians. No matter where they are. If they’re standing on the side of the street in the middle of a block, stop in your tracks and let them cross.
6. Cyclists have the right of way everywhere. Unicyclists are particularly exempt from the rules of the road.
7. Passing zones are meant to be used to overtake slower traffic on two-lane roads. Don’t ever use them.
8. Putting 100 bumper stickers with environmental messages on your car reduces drag and improves gas mileage.