Unsent

Dear Jamba Juice,

Your new Melon-Ade smoothie is delicious, but would it kill you to mix it more? Honeydew Melon doesn’t blend the way other fruits do, so what I’m left with is a chunky smoothie. A chunky smoothie! That’s a contradiction in terms! I drank a contradiction for breakfast this morning!

Love,
Chris

Dear N Train Conductor,

Did you not notice that there were still people coming out of the train when you tried to close the doors this morning? I realize that you’re trying to move things along, but that was not cool. I had to dive into the train at the first opportunity when I saw the doors start to close. Although it brings up a good question: if you threaten to close the doors, will slow tourists move faster? My guess is no.

Love,
Chris

Dear Friday,

Please move faster. I want to go home.

Love,
Chris

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1 Comment

Filed under Food and Booze, Life in NYC

One response to “Unsent

  1. Karen ;- )

    Dear Matthew
    I like you a lot
    I realize you’re in a relationship with someone right now and I
    respect that
    I would like you to know that if you’re ever single in the future
    and want to come visit me in California I would be open to spending
    time with you
    and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song…

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