It is going to be insanely hot this weekend, with highs around 90. It’s already been ridiculously hot for the past week, but now we’re upgrading to insanely hot. Next Monday and Tuesday, at 94 and 97 for forecasted highs, we will upgrade to ludicrously hot.
Here’s the problem. I have gotten zero sleep this week. I have no air conditioner, because I have no windows in my room. I have a fan in my room, but it can only do so much to cool me off. I have woken up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. It is not fun.
I may very well go crazy by the end of the weekend if this trend continues.
Therefore, I am putting myself out there on the market to any young, attractive, intelligent, and fun lady friend with an air conditioner. Let’s go out, have a good time, go back to your air-conditioned place… and sleep. Yes, sleep. That’s it. I’ll even sleep on the couch. Hell, I’ll sleep on the floor. You know what? We don’t even have to go out. It could be like a booty call, without all the booty. Just let me sleep in a room with a temperature that’s below fucking 80 degrees.
Please, do it for my sanity.