It is going to be insanely hot this weekend, with highs around 90. It’s already been ridiculously hot for the past week, but now we’re upgrading to insanely hot. Next Monday and Tuesday, at 94 and 97 for forecasted highs, we will upgrade to ludicrously hot.

Here’s the problem. I have gotten zero sleep this week. I have no air conditioner, because I have no windows in my room. I have a fan in my room, but it can only do so much to cool me off. I have woken up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. It is not fun.

I may very well go crazy by the end of the weekend if this trend continues.

Therefore, I am putting myself out there on the market to any young, attractive, intelligent, and fun lady friend with an air conditioner. Let’s go out, have a good time, go back to your air-conditioned place… and sleep. Yes, sleep. That’s it. I’ll even sleep on the couch. Hell, I’ll sleep on the floor. You know what? We don’t even have to go out. It could be like a booty call, without all the booty. Just let me sleep in a room with a temperature that’s below fucking 80 degrees.

Please, do it for my sanity.



Filed under Life in NYC

8 responses to “SWM ISO SF W/ A/C

  1. rebecca

    i feel your pain, friend. it’s been disgusting here, too. the night before last, i found myself, in a sleepless delirium, sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed because that’s where the window is, and wondering whether it was possible to get heat stroke while lying down at night. oh yeah, and we have 100 on tap for sunday. it’s the hotpocalypse.

  2. PJ

    Hey Chris, we can swap you can come over to Melbourne Australia – we’re having a top of 11 Celcius today – and I’ll gladly take your NY 90’s.

  3. Ooh, I’ll gladly take your 11C. Some nice windbreaker weather. I’ve said it before: you can always add more layers if you’re cold, but you can only take so many layers off if you’re hot.

  4. Maple

    I like the levels…insanely hot, ludicrously hot. Reminds me of the Level of Fullness created by Hass and me.

  5. Don’t you just love the city during July/Aug? There’s nothing better than decending into the 5th level of Dante’s Inferno – otherwise known as the Subway -where the literally THICK air is a putrid and moist 110 degrees, making the shower you took half an hour earlier useless as you’ve now soaked through your clothes anyway. It actually makes you crave going into work just for the sub zero AC they blast around.

  6. Anonymous

    100+ for 5 straight days here in Kansas. And it could be worse. It hit 117 in Pierre South Dakota yesterday.


    God bless central air :)


  7. Karen ;- )

    Those three words every girl longs to hear: All utilities included.

    As such, the AC in MY apartment is set at a comfortable 62 degrees. I get so cold at night sometimes I need an extra blanket. Sorry, man, DC’s a long commute for ya.

  8. oh. they have stand alone A/C units that don’t need windows. bed bath and beyond dude. i can’t believe you’re surviving without one.

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