At long last, I have had Sonic. And it is good. I took some of your suggestions.
My first Sonic experience was Thursday night in Overland Park, Kansas. I had a Sonic burger, fries, and a cherry limeade. And to commemorate the event, my friend Beej and I recreated the commercials that tortured me for years in photographic form:
Me: Did you know there are over 168,000 different drink combinations at Sonic?
Beej: Yep. That’s a lot.
Me (Opens calculator on cell phone): You could have 3 meals a day at Sonic every day for over 153 years, and not have the same drink twice.
Beej: Not that you’d ever live 153 years if you had Sonic 3 times a day.
Me: Ahh, the Sonic Breakfast Burrito. It’s like the best way to start the day.
Beej: Except for, maybe, a morning blowjob.
Me: Unless she bites.
Me: Maybe I’ll just go with the burrito. And the tater tots.
A no-go on that one too? Yeah, I don’t think it would play too well out in the nation’s heartland.
Anyway, I’d like to thank the Sonic in Overland Park for helping me pop my Sonic cherry [limeade]. And the one on US-54 in Wichita. And the one in Pratt, Kansas. And Lamar, Colorado. And Pueblo, Colorado. And Colby, Kansas. And Russell, Kansas. And Platte City, Missouri.
Okay, maybe I went a little overboard and took all of your suggestions. But now I’ve had my fix of Sonic for a good year or so, or whenever I’m in Sonic territory next.