To the girl who crossed East 12th Street in the middle of the block at 3:30am:
I promise you, I am completely harmless. I would not have laid a finger on you. I would not have said a word to you. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have even looked at you if you had walked by me on the sidewalk.
Wait, do I really look that threatening? I know you probably do this for your own safety, and maybe you’ve had a bad experience in the past, but I could take this personally. I don’t think I could ever classify as scary-looking. Especially not on this fairly well-lit block. But do you think I look like such a dangerous character that you deem it necessary to risk life and limb by dashing out into the street between two parked cars and into the path of a speeding cab, forcing him to stop short?
What was it that tipped you off to my obviously criminal demeanor? The designer jeans? The Brooklyn Industries t-shirt? My less-than-stellar build? My dark complexion?
Fine then, I didn’t want to share the sidewalk with you anyway.