Yes, I did dress up for Halloween. And yes, I made this decision at the last minute. Thanks to the ingenious shopping habits of Kate, I was able to make my entire costume for about $30, plus the cost of the throat drops I sucked down all day yesterday to revive my voice after shouting loudly in my best shrill Chris Farley impression.
Meet Chris as Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker:
It’s really awkward going out dressed up three nights before Halloween. I seemed to be the only one dressed in a costume as I walked through the East Village around 9pm on Saturday. I actually held my arms across my chest to try to conceal the throw pillow stuffed up my shirt.
Saturday night, it was hard to tell who was actually dressed up for Halloween and who was in their normal garb. First there was my friend Travis, who was dressed half as a rabbi and half as a priest (he was a cliche: “a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar”). It was a brilliant costume, but it definitely had the potential to offend. As we boarded a Q train at Canal Street headed for Brooklyn, two Hasidic Jews boarded in the same car. What resulted was an excruciating 10-minute trip over the Manhattan Bridge between Canal Street and DeKalb Avenue with no means for escaping embarassment… or the evil eye. You could feel the wrath of God on that Q train, my friends. Travis may very well be cursed for life.
Then, as I was walking home, I saw a man dressed in what looked to be a brilliant Osama Bin Laden costume: a long, thick beard and traditional Afghani dress, right up to the headgear. Then I remembered that there’s a Mosque just a block away from my apartment. Was it a costume, or was it for real? I’m thinking it was the latter, and now I am filled with guilt for my insensitivity. And besides, who would dress in an Osama Bin Laden costume? That’s so 2001.