Here’s an edition of Odds and Ends in which I ask myself questions:
Have you seen any of those pictures of Britney Spears exposing herself?
No, I have not seen a picture of Britney Spears’ cooch yet, thanks.
I spend a lot more time online at work than I do at home. And when I come home, the first things on my mind are “I wonder what I should have for dinner” and “I should watch some TV,” not “OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO SEE ONE OF THOSE PICTURES OF BRITNEY SPEARS’ VAG!”
Are you listening to Yellowcard right now?
As a matter of fact, I am. Because I totally have the musical taste of a 16 year-old girl.
Did you really get drunk off of four beers in four hours last night?
Yes, I did. My tolerance has gone down the drain. This is disheartening, as my birthday party is a week from Saturday.
Oh! It’s your birthday soon? Can I get you something?
Yes, I celebrate the 4th anniversary of my 21st birthday in two weeks. And, yes, you can get me something. You’re so kind for thinking of me, Bold Italicized Chris!
Does the giant yellow foam finger sticking up from your cube at work really look like a huge dildo from across the floor?
Yes. As a matter of fact, it does.