A Memo to the Men of the 5th Floor

Dear fellow male co-workers,

We consider ourselves to be respectful men. We work in an especially immasculating specialty of an already immasculating field. However, in addition to being respectful to our female co-workers, we need to be respectful to each other. This respect has been lacking in one area on our floor lately: the restroom.

In the fifth floor restroom, there are three urinals, laid out side-by-side. Standard men’s restroom etiquette is quite simple: the left and right urinals are acceptable for use, as they provide a buffer between you and a fellow urinator.


But a disturbing trend has emerged over the past few weeks: upon entering the men’s restroom, I have found many men on our floor using the center urinal. When encountering a Center-Urinal User, there is only one option for most men: wait. Center-Urinal Users are apparently unaware of the two-deep line behind them when two urinals are, in their opinion, available for use.

Oddly, Center-Urinal Users apparently find end urinals confining. Most men are much more comfortable at an end urinal, as their junk is not exposed on both sides. Whether they have a streak of exhibitionism or a fear of tiled walls, Center-Urinal Users must be made aware that they are inconveniencing their co-workers.

Thank you for reading. We must stop this plight on our fifth floor restroom. Remember what Bucky the Bathroom Beaver says:




Filed under Life at Work

4 responses to “A Memo to the Men of the 5th Floor

  1. Is there a used greenish/yellowish/brownish wad of tp in the last stall of your floor as well?

  2. See? Now this is funny. Centre urinal users must be directed towards a stall, therefore all businesses with three or more urinals must immediately hire a Urinal To Stall Director. I believe Danny Briere is looking for work. ;-)
    ps: love the beaver.

  3. if they just put up little dividers it would be as if every urinal was an end urinal. plus it would class the joint up a bit. otherwise they might as well have just put in a trough.

  4. Noscere

    OMG I have seen this were I work as well. You have opened my eyes to something which was infront of me all the time.
    Its good to find some one elts who has a blog about well living life in general. Keep up the good work. I will be a regular now.

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