Welcome to another installment of Frequently Asked Questions, a new feature on East Village Idiot, where I answer people’s frequently asked questions from web sites other than mine.
Today’s question comes from the “Burning Questions” area of Taco Bell’s web site.
Um, who exactly wants to know? Are you with the FDA? The USDA? The New York City Health Department? No? Okay, good.
Well, what kind of beef do we use? I don’t know if “beef” is the right word to use. Meat is acceptable, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “beef.” Perhaps it’s a “beef-infused variety meats,” or “by-products of beef,” or, judging on texture alone, “beef droppings.” There could be something other than beef in there. Bushmeat. Squirrel. Red Panda. There might be some Ram’s Testicles thrown in there at our location in Iceland.
But we do use some beef. The parts of that taco meat that are beef might be what you call “low-grade.” But we call it “no grade.” But you didn’t hear that from us.
So, that pretty much covers it. There’s your answer.
Oh! I almost forgot! There’s shit in it, too.