Sober Sojourns to Scarsdale

tallboy.jpgThe MTA announced this week that they would consider a ban on alcohol sales both on Metro-North and LIRR trains and in their stations. I beg the task force studying the proposal: don’t do it! At $2 a beer, it’s still one of the best deals in New York City, although the atmosphere leaves a bit to be desired. But still, I would pour a 40 for those bar-car employees if they really ended up going through with this. But then again, pouring a 40 would be illegal, and its meaning would probably be lost on commuters from places like Greenwich and Chappaqua.

Here are some Reasons Why The MTA Should NOT Ban Alcohol on LIRR and Metro-North:

  • It’s the only $2.00 beer you’ll drink during your entire weekend in the Hamptons.
  • Drinking is the only way to drown out the noise of that obnoxious guy who’s on his cell phone for your entire hour-long train ride.
  • By the time you get home to Connecticut, it’ll be too late to buy beer there. Plus, you live in Connecticut. You need a drink.
  • A nice beer buzz will help you repress memories of weird guys sitting next to you and offering you weed on the train.
  • Spilled beer can’t smell any worse than the train lavatory to your left and the guy with nasty B.O. to your right.
  • A beer is the only way to numb the pain of having to return to your soulless life and meaningless marriage in the suburbs.


Filed under Life in NYC

7 responses to “Sober Sojourns to Scarsdale

  1. That picture is a blast from the past, how did you get a hold of that? Ah, I miss that weekend…I love you inappropriate drinking in the hamptons.

  2. ps. Like a ban would stop us anyways.

  3. Nothing like taking a break from the workday to find that your face is on a drinking buddy’s blog! (I knew those Myspace pics would come in handy.)

  4. We’ve actually gone there after work to pre-game. Stood around drinking in the tracks beers and then headed out to a Rangers game. Train, schmain… not needed to enjoy $2.00 giant beercan goodness.

  5. Marjorie

    Lol. Though your bathroom would be on your right or behind you except on the new trains. Wow I spent to much time on MNR.

  6. Watsh arrr you talkingabout. THERES nuffing wrong wiff livinginconnecticut. ILOVEMYWIFE and HEY NICE ASS sorry that washh the conductor. My mar…marriage ish not a sham. I jusht like to seemykids when their features are just a liiiiiiiiittle blurred. Oh crap I misshed my shtop.

  7. Steve

    Can I tell you how many time’s I’ve ridden the MBTA from Providence to Boston to go to work drunk? It shouldn’t be illegal anywhere – it should be encouraged! Muahaha!

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