I’d Like to Direct Connect My Fist with Your Face


Give me ONE reason why anyone needs to use a phone’s “direct connect” instead of making a phone call – ESPECIALLY ON A CROWDED CITY BUS IN THE MIDDLE OF MORNING RUSH HOUR.

Seriously, aside from emergency responders, I don’t understand why anyone ever needs to use “direct connect.” A phone call will offer uninterrupted, private communication with a single ring, instead of the “chirps” that pierce your eardrums after every sentence of the conversation. I guess they just want the people around them to hear those “chirps.” After all, a chirping cell phone makes it clear to those sitting right beside them that “yeah, motherfucker, I’m too important for a phone call,” until we hear both sides of the conversation loud and clear and realize they’re talking about their mother’s doctor’s appointment.



Filed under General stupidity, Life in NYC

7 responses to “I’d Like to Direct Connect My Fist with Your Face

  1. That’s one of the few advantages of living in Kansas.

    Their service sucks out here. No one has it. No annoying beeps for me. Then again… I can barely make phonecalls as is…


  2. Maybe you could experiment with the chirpers of the city, and become part of the conversation.

    Start answering both sides of the obnoxious chirpers conversation until they turn and say, “Excuse me, this is a private conversation.” to which you can unleash your wit.

    I would love to hear an outcome if you go this route.

  3. I am curious to see if “Nextel Nation” gets as mad at you today as “Smoker Nation” did last week.

  4. I think they don’t count towards minutes?

    They’re the bane of my 6 train existence up here in the Bronx.

    *chirp* Where you at?

    *chirp* I’m on the train!

    *chirp* WHAT?!!

    *chirp* I’m on the train!

    *chirp* When you gonna be home?

    Ad nauseum.

  5. meaghan

    Now I don’t know about Nextel out here in LaLa Land, but if I hear the default Trio ring one more time, I am going to throttle the nearest person.

  6. oh, yeah? Well, I wanna direct connect your lips to my ass, buddy! Who are you to pick on Nextel users? It’s not like they’re blowing smoke in your face or anything. Get over it, geez.

    (just kidding)

  7. Every night in Brooklyn my husband has the distinct pleasure of getting off at Nextel’s Hub (aka Atlantic Ave subway). When he gets home he has all sorts of Nexthell stories from the boys down at the hub. Of course I can’t mention any of them here…I am WAY too much of a lady….

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