I have to admit, despite horror stories I’ve heard from friends, fellow members of my gym have behaved quite well. Sure, there are the occasional equipment hogs and the guys in the sauna who feel that it’s appropriate to spread their legs despite the fact that they’re only wearing a towel. But until Saturday, I had never been particularly grossed out by any sight in my gym.
Then, on Saturday afternoon, I witnessed something in the restroom area of the locker room that turned my stomach: The Middle-Aged Buck-Naked Flexer Who Enjoys Admiring Himself in the Mirror. I was innocently washing my hands in the sink, when my eyes were assaulted by an unnecessary amount of flesh behind my reflection in the mirror. My first instinct was that he had just misplaced his towel and was returning to a bathroom stall to get it. But I soon realized this was not the case, as he stopped at the sink next to me. He did not wash his hands in the sink, or use the mouthwash or Q-tips or lotion next to the sink. He just stood there, watching the mirror as he flexed like a bodybuilder, contorting himself and his far-from-bodybuilder physique and observing his body from different angles… completely naked.
Oh, except he was wearing one thing: headphones. He couldn’t bother to put on a towel, but he had to put on his headphones while standing stark naked in front of the mirror. I guess he needed some “flexing” music.
I think my eyes are still recovering from what I saw.
And despite some people’s claim that they feel “naked without their iPods,” I will attest that those same people can, in fact, still be naked with their iPods.