Conversations at Work Today That Have Put Me on the Verge of Smashing My Head Into a Wall

Coworker #1: I have to go to 125th Street tomorrow.
Coworker #2: Isn’t that, like, in the Bronx?

Coworker: When are you leaving for Colorado?
Me: I’m not going to Colorado.
Coworker: You’re not? I thought you said you were going skiing this weekend.
Me: I am. In Vermont.
Coworker: Vermont, Colorado… same thing.

Coworker #1: Your boyfriend is hot!
Coworker #2: (giggling) Thanks.
Coworker #1: You should see her boyfriend’s picture! Go on MySpace and look.
Coworker #3: Okay. Wait, how do I get to MySpace again?

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1 Comment

Filed under Life at Work

One response to “Conversations at Work Today That Have Put Me on the Verge of Smashing My Head Into a Wall

  1. meaghan

    At least you don’t work with girls that grew up priviledged and retarded, like my coworker. She used to be friends with Paris Hilton in High School.

    Coworker: “Oh my god! Anna Nicole Smith has slept with so many men…I mean, like, she seriously slept with all these guys!”

    Coworker: OH MY GOD I JUST SAW A MOUSE! (starts running around, shrieking like a banshee)
    20 minutes later, still freaking out:
    Coworker: WHAT IF IT WAS A RAT?
    10 minutes later:
    ::leaves to go complain to another coworker in the back house::
    10 minutes later:
    ::walks into back door only to start screaming and freaking out again because she saw another mouse (probably the same one)::
    Coworker: I’ve never seen a mouse before. I am freaking out! I think I need to take a walk. Or leave. I am so shaken up right now. ::picks up bag and leaves::

    Boss (obviously kidding): OH MY GOD Meaghan did you order budget [as in, off-brand] ibuprofin? This won’t do!
    Coworker (dead serious): I KNOW. When i saw that, I was like, OH MY GOD. I like, need the coating [referring, i believe, to Advil]. Those gross me out.
    Boss: Um, I was kidding. These are fine.

    Coworker: “Oh my god I love these new water bottles. I never sucked the old ones, but these new ones it’s just like drinking – you don’t have to suck.”

    Coworker: Oh my God did you see the Sierra Mist ad with the guy with the combover beard?
    Me: No.
    Coworker: He seriously has a beard that’s a combover!

    How did I come up with so many examples on the fly? Well, whenever she says or does something ridiculous, I email my roommate about it. He doesn’t believe she exists.

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