VOTING IS OVER FOR THESE GAMES! TO SEE THE LATEST MATCHUPS, CLICK HERE!
Welcome to March Radness, the 64-team, single-elimination tournament that pits the things you love to hate and hate to love about New York City against each other to determine this year’s ultimate quirk to city living.
Yesterday was a play-in game, and it wasn’t even close: despite it being the unreliable lifeline to Red Hook, and the savior of many drunk Greenpoint hipsters stuck on Bedford Avenue, The B61 Bus was destroyed by its even less-reliable MTA counterpart, The G Train, by a score of 81-19. So, The G Train advances to take on the #1 seed in the Markowitz Region, Billyburg Hipsters.
So today, the real fun begins. From now until the beginning of April, you’ll be able to vote for the winner of each day’s matchups, including the Championship on April 3rd. You can check out the matchups online at Tournament Pilot, or you can download a printable bracket with every matchup.
Today, we have seven big matchups across all the regions… be sure to vote in all of them!
First, it’s the battle of the retail giants: Starbucks in Greenpoint vs. Ikea in Red Hook One is a clear sign that Greenpoint has jumped the shark, the other, a signal that given the right opportunity, you can bring anyone to a piece of toxic wasteland in a run-down neighborhood.
Round 1, Game 2 – Markowitz Region: Voting Over!
-> (8) Starbucks in Greenpoint 31
-> (9) Ikea in Red Hook 69
Round 1, Game 3 – Markowitz Region: Voting Over!
-> (5) McCarren Pool 69
-> (12) Newtown Creek 31
Moving on to the Wintour Region, it’s going to be an uphill battle for Uggs. While their opponent The Meatpacking District, may be disgusting, you could never get into P.M. wearing those godforsaken furry pieces of crap.
Round 1, Game 1 – Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (1) The Meatpacking District 70
-> (16) Uggs 30
Okay, enough of the girly stuff. Now, for the region designed for a man’s man: The Isiah Region. Although this first matchup is pretty girly, you’ve got to be amazed by A-Rod’s Tan. But is his bronze physique enough to out-dance the fake tans of The Knicks City Dancers?
Round 1, Game 2 – Isiah Region: Voting Over!
-> (8) A-Rod’s Tan 38
-> (9) The Knicks City Dancers 62
Elsewhere in the Isiah Region, we’re faced with a tough choice. It’s us or them… or, rather… them or them. Who should win this battle? The Knicks in a Fistfight or The Knicks in a Game? They’ve already proven themselves in one arena – and it’s not basketball.
Round 1, Game 6 – Isiah Region: Voting Over!
-> (3) The Knicks in a Fistfight 87
-> (14) The Knicks in a Game 13
In the Bloomberg Region, there’s a battle about to brew in the 10,000-calorie burrito game: upstart and #14 seed Qdoba is entering the New York Market for a fight for burrito supremacy over the Goliath of giant burritos: Chipotle. After this game, you might want to, uh, hold your nose or leave the room.
Round 1, Game 6 – Bloomberg Region: Voting Over!
-> (3) Chipotle 64
-> (14) Qdoba 36
Finally, the Battle of Who Could Care Less: the guys who stuff papers into your face, or the women who would prefer to file their nails over providing customer service – it’s Duane Reade Cashiers vs. Street Hawkers.
Round 1, Game 8 – Bloomberg Region: Voting Over!
-> (2) Duane Reade Cashiers 68
-> (15) Street Hawkers 32
Good luck to the players, coaches, and fans! There will be plenty more matchups tomorrow.