March Radness: Round 1 Begins Today!


marchradness.JPGWelcome to March Radness, the 64-team, single-elimination tournament that pits the things you love to hate and hate to love about New York City against each other to determine this year’s ultimate quirk to city living.

Yesterday was a play-in game, and it wasn’t even close: despite it being the unreliable lifeline to Red Hook, and the savior of many drunk Greenpoint hipsters stuck on Bedford Avenue, The B61 Bus was destroyed by its even less-reliable MTA counterpart, The G Train, by a score of 81-19. So, The G Train advances to take on the #1 seed in the Markowitz Region, Billyburg Hipsters.

So today, the real fun begins. From now until the beginning of April, you’ll be able to vote for the winner of each day’s matchups, including the Championship on April 3rd. You can check out the matchups online at Tournament Pilot, or you can download a printable bracket with every matchup.

Today, we have seven big matchups across all the regions… be sure to vote in all of them!

First, it’s the battle of the retail giants: Starbucks in Greenpoint vs. Ikea in Red Hook One is a clear sign that Greenpoint has jumped the shark, the other, a signal that given the right opportunity, you can bring anyone to a piece of toxic wasteland in a run-down neighborhood. 

Round 1, Game 2 – Markowitz Region: Voting Over!
-> (8) Starbucks in Greenpoint 31
-> (9) Ikea in Red Hook 69

Next, it’s another battle raging in Brooklyn. McCarren Pool vs. Newtown Creek. One is a pool that you can’t swim in, and the other is a body of water that you would never want to swim in.

Round 1, Game 3 – Markowitz Region: Voting Over!
-> (5) McCarren Pool 69
-> (12) Newtown Creek 31

Moving on to the Wintour Region, it’s going to be an uphill battle for Uggs. While their opponent The Meatpacking District, may be disgusting, you could never get into P.M. wearing those godforsaken furry pieces of crap.

Round 1, Game 1 – Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (1) The Meatpacking District 70
-> (16) Uggs 30

Okay, enough of the girly stuff. Now, for the region designed for a man’s man: The Isiah Region. Although this first matchup is pretty girly, you’ve got to be amazed by A-Rod’s Tan. But is his bronze physique enough to out-dance the fake tans of The Knicks City Dancers?

Round 1, Game 2 – Isiah Region: Voting Over!
-> (8) A-Rod’s Tan 38
-> (9) The Knicks City Dancers 62

Elsewhere in the Isiah Region, we’re faced with a tough choice. It’s us or them… or, rather… them or them. Who should win this battle? The Knicks in a Fistfight or The Knicks in a Game? They’ve already proven themselves in one arena – and it’s not basketball.

Round 1, Game 6 – Isiah Region: Voting Over!
-> (3) The Knicks in a Fistfight 87
-> (14) The Knicks in a Game 13

In the Bloomberg Region, there’s a battle about to brew in the 10,000-calorie burrito game: upstart and #14 seed Qdoba is entering the New York Market for a fight for burrito supremacy over the Goliath of giant burritos: Chipotle. After this game, you might want to, uh, hold your nose or leave the room.

Round 1, Game 6 – Bloomberg Region: Voting Over!
-> (3) Chipotle 64
-> (14) Qdoba 36

Finally, the Battle of Who Could Care Less: the guys who stuff papers into your face, or the women who would prefer to file their nails over providing customer service – it’s Duane Reade Cashiers vs. Street Hawkers.

Round 1, Game 8 – Bloomberg Region: Voting Over!
-> (2) Duane Reade Cashiers 68
-> (15) Street Hawkers 32

Good luck to the players, coaches, and fans! There will be plenty more matchups tomorrow.



Filed under March Radness

10 responses to “March Radness: Round 1 Begins Today!

  1. Pingback: March Radness: Hipsters Vs. B61 and Much More at

  2. Pingback: EstateFlips.Com Realty Flipping Guide and Blog » March Radness: 64 Teams, So Many Shining Moments

  3. The Bleacher Creatures would eat the entire Isiah Region for lunch.

  4. Pat Smith

    I think this is the first time a #9 seed wins the tourney. A few weeks ago someone actually stole some of the toxic dirt. No one ever stole dirt from a Home Depot or Target site.

  5. J$

    staten island guidos are taking it all this year on the strength of real life i’m a staten island girl!

  6. Interesting idea. If I did a poll such as this for my hometown it would be far from exciting: The Starbucks in the mall vs the Starbucks in Safeway vs The Starbucks (reseller) in Barnes and Noble..ZZZ

  7. chris, this is genius. love it.

    F train, all the way…

  8. Pingback: Top Posts «

  9. Pingback: Park Slope Live » Blog Archive » March Radness: 64 Teams, So Many Shining Moments

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