Upon seeing a hot girl covered in tattoos at Cheap Shots:
Friend: Do you have any tattoos?
Me: No, but if I did, it would I have to be something I know I’ll be faithful to for my entire life. Like a Red Sox logo…
Friend: Hmm, what could I be faithful to for my entire life?
Me: …either that, or maybe my alma mater. Maybe I could get an “Ithaca is Gorges” logo tattooed on my lower back and have an arrow pointing down to my ass.
In the midst of a game of Taboo at Common Ground:
Me: Uh… uh… you might drop one of these.
Me: Uh… if I said I was going to “drop the Cosby kids off at the pool,'” then I might be going to drop a…?