The Security Nazi
Habitat: Office building lobbies
Description: Unfazed by common sense, the Security Nazi will make every office worker’s life a living hell. Despite the fact that he recognizes faces and knows names of up to 85% of the building’s employees, he is a stickler for the rules: you must show your ID. You must carry it with you at all times. You must call a co-worker down from upstairs, as a visitor, if you do not have your ID. You must report all visitors in advance. You must sign in visitors. The rules for security in your nine-story office building are approximately the length of the U.S. Tax Code.
Quite often, the Security Nazi is one of several security personnel in a building. The other members of the security staff are cool. You greet them by name. You talk with them about how the Yankees did the night before. If you don’t have your ID, they’ll “let it slide this time.” After all, they see you every day. It’s not like you’re going to torch the office the day you show up without your ID.
But if the Security Nazi is at the desk, all bets are off. He will make you feel like the scum of the earth because you simply forgot to take your ID out of the pocket of the pants you slid out of drunk at 1am the night before. Shame on you! You, after all, are just a lowly office worker – and he is the leader of the Third Reich of Office Building Security.
Rating on the Peevery Scale: