New York: City of Peeves #50

The No-Rush Hipster

hipsterltrain.jpgHabitat: Subway stations, particularly on the L train.

Description: The term “rush hour” is more relevant in New York City than anywhere else. Any time that a train rolls into a station as commuters descend the staircase, most will have a penchant to move quickly in order to catch that train and make it to work on time.

This is not so with The No-Rush Hipster. Despite his youthful appearance and lack of any physical handicap, he takes the hipster mentality to new levels of oblivion. The No-Rush Hipster will take his sweet, sweet time getting to a subway platform, even if there’s a train ten steps in front of him. After all, he’s in no rush. He’s never in a rush. He’s a hipster! He has no job. He doesn’t believe in things like “deadlines” or “timeliness” or “hours” or “reality.” He’s not in a hurry to get somewhere to earn his living – everything he needs is in his trust fund, which packs the pocket of his ultra-slim jeans with cash.

We commuters, with real jobs that earn real money, don’t need someone like the No-Rush Hipster getting in our way during our morning commute. Really, the question that lingers is: what is the No-Rush Hipster doing in the subway at 8:30am? I’m willing to bet he’s still wasted from some hipster art show or indie rock after-hours party. So, next time he’s in your way, just bowl him over! He won’t feel a thing!

Rating on the Peevery Scale:




Filed under City of Peeves

8 responses to “New York: City of Peeves #50

  1. Will it Blend? – Hipster

    pleeeeease chris can we do it, pretty please? :)

  2. Fucking ban hipsters from going out from 7 – 10am. Unless they’re working the counter at the coffee shop around the corner, of course.

  3. Pretty kitty cat

    As a hipster, like…I…whatever.

  4. I often wondered, at the Bedford L stop at 8:30 A.M., which is the most populated morning rush hour stop I’ve ever lived near [luckily, I no longer do] where all these people could possibly be employed where skinny jeans, Vans, vintage t’s and 30,000 oversized beaded necklaces were an acceptable part of the dress code. ‘Design’ jobs?

    There’s usually a carefully-folded paperback too, by a Jonathan.

  5. Wow, I totally just mis-used an apostrophe. I hate myself.

  6. Oh chris, don’t be so bitter. Its okay that your parents don’t love you.

  7. I started taking the bus for this very reason!

  8. Dolores

    i’m going with fucking retarded on the scale. i live in the bronx, but my boyfriend lives on the bedford stop. he’s been there a long, long time and watches the hipster waddle out in their diapers every day. when i leave his place i am tortured by these fucks. if they did this on the bronx 6, there would be bloodshed.

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