New York: City of Peeves #54

The Field Trip

Habitat: Heavily-trafficked tourist areas

youthgroup.jpgDescription: Deserving of being trailed by a boombox playing “Flight of the Bumblebees,” The Field Trip envelopes any sidewalk with a massive swarm of children and chaperoning adults. The Field Trip’s members will undoubtedly all wear the same color t-shirt (generally, something neon) with the name of their school or youth group emblazoned, reminding all other pedestrians that no, they’re not from here, and yes, they have no respect for the fact that other people have a right to move down the sidewalk.

There is no way to move beyond these swarms of children. The adults do nothing to keep the children at bay. Remember in kindergarten, when we were all instructed to “line up, single file?” Apparently, today’s generation of kids was never enlightened. Of course, this would even further lengthen The Field Trip’s obstruction to about ten blocks, instead of just one or two. Even worse than the traditional Field Trip is the hand-holding Field Trip: a group of first or second graders who are forced to hold hands in a line. This isn’t Hands Across America, kiddies. Get the hell out of our way.

The NYPD recently instituted new rules for parades to include “a recognizable group of 50 or more pedestrians […] proceeding together upon any public street or roadway.” Screw Critical Mass; the first group they should target with this rule are these massive herds of Midwestern cattle.

Rating on the Peevery Scale:




Filed under City of Peeves

6 responses to “New York: City of Peeves #54

  1. The only thing worse than the field trip… the retarded field trip.

  2. Agreeeeed!
    This is exactly why they invented lightsabers!

  3. I’ll bet you went on a lot of those, Mr. Shain.

    I always got nervous when a swarm would board a train. The matching t-shirts can only protect them for so long.

  4. As much as you’d like to hope they’re from the Midwest, chances are they’re from someplace a lot closer, like Pennsylvania or upstate NY.

  5. rebecca

    we had a summer camp field trip, at least 50 kids, in our bookstore this week. forget trying to get anything done when the store is riddled with hormones and there’s no place to walk.

  6. Last Friday I encountered a massive class trip. One of the teachers was hot, and the flirting was fun, but it was interrupted when I yelled at one of the little brats to pick up the juice box he tossed on the floor. She seemed happy she didn’t have to yell at him.

    Nothing I loathe more then a cocky 11 year-old white kid who uses the word “Nigger” in every sentence…

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