The New York City Blogger’s Thermometer

-4°

The temperature at which bloggers publish posts without titles that only contain photographs of warm travel destinations.

13°

The temperature at which bloggers demand that all neighbors, including the elderly and handicapped, shovel their sidewalks clear of snow within 30 minutes of the first snowflake falling.

21°

The temperature at which bloggers complain to their readers about the lack of heat in their apartments, rather than to their landlords or the city.

30°

The temperature at which bloggers express their displeasure with the slush puddles at city street corners.

41°

The temperature at which bloggers complain about the city’s mandate that they smoke outdoors. Also, the temperature at which they swear on their blogs that this is the year they’re going to quit smoking.

49°

The temperature at which male bloggers plead for the quick return of warmer weather to New York, so that they may ogle the scantily-clad women in public.

55°

The temperature at which bloggers from warm, southern climates complain about how they’re the only ones they know who think it’s “cold” outside.

70°

The temperature at which bloggers inexplicably find no fault with New York City and proclaim that it is the most beautiful city in the world.

77°

The temperature at which male bloggers openly welcome the return of warmer weather to New York, so that they may ogle the scantily-clad women in public.

83°

The temperature at which bloggers document their trips to beach communities outside of New York by retelling a story of a nightmare travel situation that was the fault of a New York Public Agency.

88°

The temperature at which bloggers choose to express their displeasure with the lack of ventilation in the subway in the heat of the summer, despite its year-round lack of ventilation.

95°

The temperature at which bloggers complain about their non-air-conditioned apartments, despite the presence of a dozen businesses selling such appliances within 3 blocks of their homes.

107°

The temperature at which bloggers boil over with anger and post only in all CAPS about everyday mundane situations that would be tolerable at any other temperature.

121°

The temperature at which bloggers post links to apocalyptic religious blogs.

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10 Comments

Filed under Blogging about Blogging

10 responses to “The New York City Blogger’s Thermometer

  1. You got me. I laughed out loud at 95 degree. Fuck if that ain’t true.

  2. sadly, i have read enough blogs to confirm that this is exactly true.

  3. I THINK THE TEMPERATURE ON THE SUBWAY PLATFORM GOT UP TO 107 YESTERDAY!

  4. Midwestern Gal

    I’m not sure what the exact temp is…but don’t forget the temp at which bloggers complain about getting blasted by air conditioning from open store fronts as they walk down the street. What a tease.

  5. But at what temperature to they blog about they’re little nutsack friend that keeps them cool?

  6. Hilarious. Although I find that, no matter what the temperature outside, I’m always either posting about or longing for scantily clad women to be walking around in public.

  7. Waah waaah wahhhh… It was 106 here last week. Then again, our humidity doesn’t get over 20%.

  8. Jeff totally beat me to it. There should be another listing for the 140 degree platform-melt. It goes beyond complaining.

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