iCouldn’tCareLess

iphoneloser1.jpgThings I’d Be Able To Do This Week If I Had An iPhone:

  • Search Google for a nearby bar that would be appreciated by a bevy of drinking buddies, rather than invite 20 of them back to my apartment to drink (note: my apartment comfortably seats 3).
  • Despite lacking a boombox, provide a spontaneous playing of Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On” through the speaker on my phone.
  • Record video of a group of obese tourists who tried to shove their way onto a downtown Q train at rush hour today before anyone could get off the train, then immediately upload it to my blog to publicly shame them.
  • Show people my phone and have them bow down to me on command.

Things I Wouldn’t Be Able To Do This Week If I Had An iPhone:

  • Chastise iPhone owners for spending exorbinant amounts of money on a device that will be substandard in six months, despite the fact that given six hundred dollars, I too would spend exorbinant amounts of money on a device that will be substandard in six months.
  • Not worry about the fact that I’m carrying around a phone that costs ten times as much as my vital organs would on the black market.
  • Take out my cell phone in public without gathering a small crowd.
  • Afford to eat, because I just blew a week’s salary on a cell phone.
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6 Comments

Filed under Geekery

6 responses to “iCouldn’tCareLess

  1. Afford to eat, because I just blew a week’s salary on a cell phone.

    Eating, shmeating.

  2. jew

    mmmm iphone. mmm wilson phillips.

    But the fact that you can only text while holding the phone vertically is a deal breaker for me. I want to use two thumbs. And no copy paste!!! Blech i’ll wait till they work it out. And till i have saved $600. Soooo like 2 years then.

  3. Dude, don’t bash iPhone lovers. I’m a total fanboy and I hate all who oppose the iPhone. Not that you really seem opposed to it. But I’m getting mine this weekend.

    Jew – you can totally two-thumb it on the iPhone. Go to apple.com and watch the keyboard video – you’ll find it’s totally sweet and interesting (if you’re a huge dork like myself).

  4. provide a spontaneous playing of Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On” through the speaker on my phone.

    I think you just sold me on this thing….. Apparently I have been known to do enjoy this.

  5. “We don’t discuss future products.”

    Steve Jobs

    =s

    This device will be substandard in 6 months…very true. Can’t wait til Christmas, iPhone 2.0!!

  6. caitlynintherye

    “Not worry about the fact that I’m carrying around a phone that costs ten times as much as my vital organs would on the black market.”

    I laughed so hard at this. I think my shitty phone cost me twenty bucks. My ipod cost me 45. There, I have all of the major necessities at about a sixth of the price.

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