The Wild Wheelchair Wielder
Habitat: City sidewalks
Description: I don’t want to make fun of the handicapped. And yes, the handicapped are largely, well, handicapped in this city. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I was bound to a wheelchair in New York. But despite all this, there are some handicapped people in this city who have taken it upon themselves to get a distinct advantage on our sidewalks – at the expense of our safety.
The Wild Wheelchair Wielder has a modified electric wheelchair. I presumed that there was some sort of restrictor plate on a wheelchair that runs on its own power source. I guess that’s not the case on all of them, because the Wild Wheelchair Wielder will MOW YOUR ABLE BODY DOWN AT ANY COST if you’re in his way. You may walk at a mere three miles per hour, but this bad-boy in a wheelchair will blow by you at lightning-speed. Ten miles per hour. Fifteen miles per hour. If he could actually walk, he’d be a great candidate for a delivery boy. He can even outrun and outmaneuver most crosstown buses. If you’re walking towards him, your best bet is to dive out of the way, because he will stop for no one. You treat him like a second-class citizen most of the time, and it’s high time that he got his chance to treat you like one, too.
Now, I’ll be fair. There are so few wheelchair-accessible subway stations and taxis in this town, so they have to make up for it somehow. But with all of the hazards for pedestrians in this city – out-of-control cabs, falling parapets, reckless cyclists, crazed gunmen – a disabled person should not be one of them.
Rating on the Peevery Scale: