I’ve been to hell and back. I spent three full hours of my Sunday on Long Island Railroad in an overcrowded, under-air-conditioned train heading back from Montauk. I’ve never been happier to get home after a vacation.
- Why, Long Island Railroad, does the Montauk station – a station that’s used year-round and was pretty crowded with passengers yesterday – seem like the only station in the entire system without a ticket vending machine? It just defies logic. The only thing less logical is the fact that Montauk station actually has a station house – but tickets aren’t sold there, either.
- Why, parents, must you keep your children occupied for a 3-hour train ride by playing a movie on a portable DVD player – WITHOUT HEADPHONES? Just because you’re white and loaded with money doesn’t make you any different from the guy who blasts a boombox on the train.
- Why, fellow passengers, are you not aware of the VIBRATE MODE on your cell phone? If it rings once, I’ll let it slide, but when the SAME GODDAMN RINGTONE goes off seven times when I’m trying to take a nap to pass the time, I’m pretty much on the verge of chucking my bag at you.
- Why, LIRR conductor, must you torture me and every other passenger by saying, “enjoy your weekend… or what’s left of it” at the end of the ride on a Sunday night? It’s Sunday night. There IS no weekend left. And we’ve been out on the beach all weekend and didn’t want to come home. Thanks for the reminder, jerk.
I’m back. And I really didn’t want to come home. And now it’s pouring rain to boot. What a great welcome back to New York.