In the “Nanny State” that we live in, it seems like everything needs instructions these days. Sure, there are things where instructions should be necessary, like IKEA furniture, brownie mix, or passport applications.
Whole Foods figured that instructions shouldn’t be necessary for standing in line at their location on Houston Street. Standing in line seems like a simple concept. But unfortunately, I’m starting to think they might need to install a sign with instructions.
The checkout line is pretty self-explanatory at first glance. There are three lines. Each of them is color-coded. You choose a line and stand in it. When a number is announced (visually and audibly) on the plasma screen at the front of the line over your color, you proceed to that numbered register.
This is a very simple process. It should not be difficult to comprehend, but idiotic New Yorkers always find a way to screw things up. This procedure is no exception.
Earlier this week, I stood in the blue line. There were about six people in line in front of me. Both the red and cream-colored lines had roughly two or three more people in them. I figured I lucked out and took the quickest line.
After three rotations of numbers being called, the number 16 appeared in the blue color bar on the screen above our line. Without hesitation, a woman in the cream-colored line proceeded directly to register 16. When the next number for the cream-colored line came up seconds later, the woman behind her went to that register. The woman at the front of our line just stood there. She did not defend herself. She did not tell the woman at register 16 to get back in line. It all happened so quickly that I’m not sure she could have really snapped into action – she was simply stunned by what had just happened. So, my entire line got penalized for someone else’s stupidity, and I had to spend an extra minute in line.
This is not the first time this has happened. Nearly every time I go to Whole Foods, someone can’t figure out this relatively uncomplicated system. Never has anyone confronted a line-cutter in my presence. I presume that this is mainly because many Whole Foods customers lack the energy needed to confront others because of their vegan diets. Then again, since the customers aren’t smart enough to figure out that “organic” is pretty must just another word for “expensive,” they probably aren’t smart enough to figure out this whole checkout system. If that bitch takes my register, I will take it back by force.
And if she gets hostile, I will take a wad of raw ground beef and throw it at her. That’ll learn ‘er.