MTA New York City Transit
Posted on:8/8/2007 4:27:05 PM
Due to a single droplet of water falling from the sky mistaken for rain that was actually condensation from an air conditioner in a 17th floor apartment, there are delays on the following subway lines:
trains are running between 14th Street and 18th Street in both directions.
and uptown trains will terminate at 96th Street, as they are afraid to go into Harlem.
, , and trains will be making two loops around Central Park before getting you to your destination, because they need some fresh air.
trains are enjoying a hot dog and beer at Willets Point-Shea Stadium and will resume normal operation once the game is over.
, , and trains are not running at all, because they really just don’t have time for your crap today.
trains are running express in Manhattan, enjoying the nice cool breeze they get from going 30 miles an hour.
and trains are stuck in some neighborhood in Queens that you’ve never heard of.
trains are currently experiencing an inferiority complex and will not run until further notice/counseling.
, , and trains are running normally, of course, since nobody ever uses these trains.
trains are running between Princeton Junction and Hoboken. We really can’t explain how they ended up there.
and trains are currently running on the Cyclone track at Coney Island-Stillwell Ave.
service is suspended between Times Square-42nd Street and Grand Central-42nd Street. You can just walk. You do have legs, don’t you?
We would apologize for the inconvience, but we like to watch you suffer. Thank you for riding with MTA New York City Transit!