Category Archives: Blogging about Blogging

Warning

Be warned: eastvillageidiot.com will be down for most of the weekend. The only thing you’ll see in this space over the weekend is the Friday Funnies. Shed a tear, I know.

The blog is getting some plastic surgery. Once its scars have healed, it’ll be back up in the same space on Monday.

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Update: Don’t Panic, I’m All Right

After a visit to the hospital, a couple days of bedrest, and many doses of steroids, I’m back in the game and back to work tomorrow.

I just hope the Commissioner of Blogging doesn’t test for performance-enhancing drugs.

Side note: outside of this blog’s title, this week’s top Google search term leading to my blog has been “glory holes in New Hampshire,” probably because of this post. I don’t think I can help you there, fellas.

But I do know of a couple people who probably can:

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Medical Leave

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After spending a great deal of today in a hospital and being hopped up on a whole bunch of drugs, I don’t exactly have the energy to write much of anything.

In the meantime, I’ll leave it to my clever commenters to wildly speculate on what medical ailment I have. Go nuts.

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If You Don’t Read My Blog in the Next 10 Minutes, Your Pet will Die

I’ve just learned that this post from last week has become a chain letter that’s circulating around the Intarweb.

If you happen to get it forwarded to you, let ’em know the source! And gloat about how you read it first.

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I Hope This Spam Comment is Not a Harbinger to What You’ll Be Reading Here on Monday

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OMG, I Love Your Blog!

So, I’m about to sound like a total jackass here. And my apologies to those readers of mine who take this seriously. There’s a topic that I need to talk about. Another blogger finally broke the silence on this topic a couple weeks ago in a much more straightforward manner. I’m not straightforward. I would rather make backhanded remarks in the form of mockery. So, here – in rough form – is an e-mail that lands in my inbox roughly five times a week:

Oh my God! Is this you? Is this really you, the East Village Idiot? I just found your blog and I think it’s totally awesome. I can really relate to a lot of the stuff you write about. You’re such a good writer! Additional insincere praise here. Sorry, I cannot pull my lips away from your ass.

So, I have a question. I was thinking… I have a blog, and you have a blog. So, can we, like, “trade links?” You know… I’ll link to your blog on my blog and you link me back! You should check out my blog! I’ve got a picture of my 6-month-old baby girl drooling in my header, a photo album from my last vacation to Branson, Missouri, and a story about how my cat loves to play with the ball of twine in my backyard in suburban Omaha, Nebraska!

But I’m not going to link to you unless you link to me. And you should totally link to me! I’m sure all of your readers would love to waste time clicking on the link in your blogroll to my blog, spending time reading my meaningless drivel, leaving completely unenetertained, and demanding 2 minutes of their life back.

After this, I’m going to e-mail that Jason Mulgrew guy who writes a funny blog I read once and tell him that he should link to me, too. Maybe I’ll e-mail Gawker, too. But I’m not linking them unless they link me back! They’d be total jerks not to link to me. So would you.

Okay, well, thanks in advance! Catch you on the Internets!

The blogroll is a service to you, the reader, offering blogs that I enjoy reading and hope that you will enjoy reading, too. Please, take advantage of it. Cherish these links – I’m rarely pleased with the crap I find in the World Wide Webiverse.

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The New York City Blogger’s Thermometer

-4°

The temperature at which bloggers publish posts without titles that only contain photographs of warm travel destinations.

13°

The temperature at which bloggers demand that all neighbors, including the elderly and handicapped, shovel their sidewalks clear of snow within 30 minutes of the first snowflake falling.

21°

The temperature at which bloggers complain to their readers about the lack of heat in their apartments, rather than to their landlords or the city.

30°

The temperature at which bloggers express their displeasure with the slush puddles at city street corners.

41°

The temperature at which bloggers complain about the city’s mandate that they smoke outdoors. Also, the temperature at which they swear on their blogs that this is the year they’re going to quit smoking.

49°

The temperature at which male bloggers plead for the quick return of warmer weather to New York, so that they may ogle the scantily-clad women in public.

55°

The temperature at which bloggers from warm, southern climates complain about how they’re the only ones they know who think it’s “cold” outside.

70°

The temperature at which bloggers inexplicably find no fault with New York City and proclaim that it is the most beautiful city in the world.

77°

The temperature at which male bloggers openly welcome the return of warmer weather to New York, so that they may ogle the scantily-clad women in public.

83°

The temperature at which bloggers document their trips to beach communities outside of New York by retelling a story of a nightmare travel situation that was the fault of a New York Public Agency.

88°

The temperature at which bloggers choose to express their displeasure with the lack of ventilation in the subway in the heat of the summer, despite its year-round lack of ventilation.

95°

The temperature at which bloggers complain about their non-air-conditioned apartments, despite the presence of a dozen businesses selling such appliances within 3 blocks of their homes.

107°

The temperature at which bloggers boil over with anger and post only in all CAPS about everyday mundane situations that would be tolerable at any other temperature.

121°

The temperature at which bloggers post links to apocalyptic religious blogs.

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