Oh my God! Did you hear the news on channel 7? There are mice running around the Pinkberry on the Upper East Side! How disgusting! First, it was rats. Now, it’s mice! This is out of control! We must stop this massive incoming health crisis! EVERYBODY PANIC!
Yes, there are mice running around in closed restaurants in New York City. In other news: the sky is blue, the earth is round, and the subway doesn’t always run on time. Shocking stuff! Look, I’ve seen a mouse run loose in my apartment, and it didn’t necessitate a visit from a camera crew or the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. A few mice running loose in a New York City restaurant are not worthy of any amount of time on the local news, let alone a top story.
Not to mention that this isn’t a compelling story. The Rats at Taco Bell were out of control. It was a pack of ugly, mutant rats, jumping over every square foot of floor and every piece of furniture. Meanwhile, I could count the number of mice at Pinkberry on one hand. They had to highlight the mice on the video just to distinguish them from a stain on the floor. There’s no mistaking rats. And mice are cute! They’re small and look pretty much harmless. In the unnecessarily-long story on the WABC, they interviewed patrons at Pinkberry on Sunday, and none of them said it would stop them from coming. You know why? Because it’s two fucking little mice. Hell, if they didn’t charge freaking five bucks for a little cup of frozen yogurt, I’d almost feel bad for Pinkberry.
So, congratulations, WABC. You are the Idiots of the Week! Two mice roaming around a Manhattan restaurant is not surprising, revolting, or particuarly unhealthy, no matter how much you guys want to tell us it is.